I Wanna Move Out

I want to get up, out and leave...

It's not that I don't like my family. I love them with all my heart but sometimes I just cannot stand being around them. Sometimes it's just so hard. All the pressure... All the responsibilities... It just ain't fun. I'm 24 for crying out loud. I should be out in the real word. Experiencing freedom. Trying to live on my own. But see, even if I could leave my family house right now, everything else will still follow. Even if I do manage to leave I am still expected to give money for the house maintenance. I will not be able to save up for MY future. I am going to sound really selfish in this entry I know but I just really have to get this out. With that is going on and all the repairs and everything, I will never be able to put up the money I will need for my own future. I won't be able to save up, for example a car, because every time I try to start something will come up and I will have to give it up.

I want to know what it's like to live with my own rules. Like go out whenever I want to. No questions asked. Go home as late as I want to without anyone telling me that I am going to have my a$$ kicked when I get home. I don't want to have to answer every questions that are thrown at me. I want the freedom to be with anyone I want to be with. I don't like being asked where I am going every time I'm going out or who I am going out with. I want to be able to decide for myself without feeling guilty afterwards.

I know my responsibilities. (There's that word again) but I think what keeps me from doing them is the fact that I cannot do things my way. There's always something blocking it. See for y culture it is not strange to stay in a house together with parents and siblings. One thing I don't complain about that is that I have all the comforts of home. I don't have to worry about any basic needs because I am provided with it.

But I just have to know what it feels like. Even just for a trial period. Even just for a little while. Just to get out of here. Just to feel what it's like not to be stuck....