Have you ever...

... thought of dying?

really... have you ever given any thought as to how it would happen. would it be quick and painless? or would you rather take the long but with lots of pain route?

I've thought about it...

a lot...

I've even imagined what my funeral would be like. how my family and friends would shed tears for me. how they will realize how important i really am when they find out i will no longer be with them everyday. that i will not be there anymore to comfort them when they need it. that i won't be there anymore to give them advice. or the i will not be there anymore to listen to them when they just need to talk.

i know it sounds so horrible but sometimes, thinking about it, gives me a bit of a peaceful feeling.

you might wonder why I'm thinking about this things right?
see, i usually do that when someone or something is irritating me so. like fights with friends or family, when I'm harassed at work or when something just forces me down the drain. it may seem cynical but like i said, it leads me to a very quiet place...

iba iba lang talaga yan eh...